Genies Meanies and Magic Rings Page 3

  Chapter 4

  Forty days went by like this. Then Abu Seer got sick and couldn’t go out to work. He lay on his cot all day long, with a fever so high that he lost consciousness.

  Abu Keer woke up that afternoon with pangs in his belly. “Where’s my dinner?!” he roared. But Abu Seer was stretched out on his cot, unconscious, pale as a sheet.

  Abu Keer got up and ate all the food he could find in the room, but he was still hungry. So he got dressed, searched through his friend’s clothes, and found a dozen silver coins in one of his pockets. He took these and left.

  First he went to a restaurant and had a thirteen-course meal that lasted for three hours. Then he walked to the bazaar and spent all the rest of the money on an expensive silk robe. As he walked through the streets he noticed that all the people were dressed in either white clothes or blue clothes, or else a mixture of white and blue. “Hmm,” said Abu Keer to himself. “This is awfully peculiar.”

  Soon he came to a dyer’s shop. All the material inside it was dyed blue.

  Taking out a handkerchief, he said to the dyer, “I’d like this dyed.”

  “Yes, sir,” the dyer said. “It will be ready tomorrow.”

  “Is that all?” said Abu Keer. “Don’t you need to know what color I want it dyed?”

  “Oh no, sir,” the dyer said. “The only color I know how to dye is blue.”

  “Is that so?” Abu Keer said. “What about the other dyers in town?”

  “It’s the same with them, sir. There are forty-nine master dyers here, and we all use only blue dye. Besides, we know from experience that it’s impossible to dye cloth any other color than blue.”

  “Is that so?” said Abu Keer, and he walked away with a smile on his face.

  The very same day he went to see the king. “Your Majesty,” he said, “I have just arrived here. I had heard of your magnificent city in Alexandria, where I was a master dyer. And indeed, your city is a most splendid capital, filled with more marvelous things than I could have imagined, a testimony to Your Majesty’s wisdom and goodness. However, there is room for one tiny improvement.”

  “And what might that be?” the king said.

  “Well, Your Most Gracious Majesty, I couldn’t help noticing that your dyers work only in blue. Now wouldn’t it be a wonderful benefit to you and your citizens if there were a dyer who could work in other colors?”

  “Assuredly,” the king said. “But where is such a genius to be found?”

  “Your Majesty,” said Abu Keer, “this is your lucky day. That genius is standing right before you! I can dye cloth red, green, blue, yellow, orange, purple, and brown. Do you want something dyed red? I can dye it the color of a rose or a cherry, a ruby or a sunset or a hummingbird’s throat. Do you want something dyed green? I can dye it the green of a blade of grass or a pistachio nut or a cypress needle or an olive. Purple? I can dye it plum or violet or amethyst or lavender or heliotrope or lilac or magenta or mulberry. And even with blue—you have no idea how many beautiful shades of blue there are. Azure and aquamarine, cobalt and cerulean, indigo, hyacinth, periwinkle, peacock and turquoise and ultramarine. I am a modest man, Your Majesty, but if you will permit me to toot my own horn for a moment: in Alexandria even the other dyers call me the greatest dyer of our age.”

  “My goodness,” said the king.

  He was so impressed with Abu Keer that he gave him five thousand gold coins, a diamond ring, a wardrobe of embroidered silk clothing (all of it white or blue), a large house with a rose garden, ten slaves, and a white horse. And he ordered his architects and carpenters to build him a luxurious shop in the best location in town. Within a few weeks, Abu Keer was in business.

  The king sent him five hundred lengths of cloth, and Abu Keer dyed them every color of the rainbow. The king was astonished. When the cloths were displayed outside the shop, the people ooh’d and ahh’d. They had never seen anything so beautiful. Soon everyone in the country was bringing material to Abu Keer. The ministers of state brought their robes. The army officers brought their uniforms. Even poor shopkeepers brought their ragged business suits. And with the gold they paid, and the presents that the king kept showering upon him, Abu Keer quickly became a very wealthy man.

  Chapter 5

  Abu Seer remained unconscious on his cot in the hotel room for three days. Finally the hotel porter got worried, knocked on the door, and opened it. There lay Abu Seer, moaning.

  “For the love of God, friend,” he said, “get me something to eat. I’m so famished I could cry.”

  The porter rushed out and returned with a bowl of beef soup. He propped Abu Seer up and spoon-fed him until he had eaten all the soup.

  “Thank you so much,” said Abu Seer. “I feel better now.”

  “Where’s your friend?” the porter asked.

  “I don’t know. He must have gone out to get me some medicine.”

  “But I haven’t seen him for three days,” the porter said.

  “I don’t understand,” said Abu Seer. “I’m sure he wouldn’t just leave me here sick as a dog. Anyway, please look in my pockets and take out a few coins for the soup. And if you could buy me some more food, I’d be very grateful.”

  The porter looked and said, “These pockets are empty. Your friend must have robbed you and left. Some friend!”

  “Oh, he would never do that!” Abu Seer said. “He probably just took the money to buy some expensive medicine for me. I bet he’ll be back any minute.”

  “Don’t hold your breath,” said the porter.

  Chapter 6

  For the next two months the porter took care of Abu Seer, paying for his food and medicine, and nursing him back to health.

  Finally Abu Seer was well again.

  “I’ll never forget what you’ve done for me,” he said to the porter. “If God ever gives me the means, I’ll repay you a thousand times over for your kindness.”

  “Thank you,” said the porter. “But that’s not necessary. Seeing you healthy again is reward enough.”

  Abu Seer walked out of the hotel and into the delicious summer air. It felt wonderful to be outdoors again.

  Soon he came to the bazaar and noticed a shop with a display of beautifully dyed cloths and a large crowd in front. He asked one of the men in the crowd what was going on, and the man told him about Abu Keer’s fabulous success.

  “Praise be to God,” Abu Seer said to himself, “for allowing my friend to prosper so greatly. He has been busy with all these customers, and the king, too. No wonder he forgot about me. But everything will be all right now. When he wasn’t feeling well, I took care of him, and now he’ll do the same for me.”

  Abu Seer threaded his way through the crowd and slipped in at the front door. He could hardly believe his eyes. There, on a pile of velvet cushions in the middle of the shop, sat Abu Keer in his embroidered silk robes, looking as mighty as a king and as comfortable as a cat. Four black slaves, four white slaves, and four Asian slaves, all dressed in gorgeous uniforms of silk and satin, were continually moving toward and away from him, sometimes kneeling to fan him or polish his nails or play his favorite music or feed him candied oranges or chocolate-dipped strawberries. Twenty-five more slaves were scurrying around, trying to keep up with his orders.

  Abu Seer walked up to him and bowed. “It’s been a long time, partner,” he said.

  “How dare you!” Abu Keer screamed. “How dare you, you insolent thief! Slaves, seize him!”

  Six slaves pinned Abu Seer to the ground. Then Abu Keer took a whip and lashed him a dozen times on his back, then another dozen times on his stomach. When he had finished, Abu Seer was a mass of bleeding welts.

  “That ought to teach you a lesson,” shouted Abu Keer. “If you ever set foot here again, I’ll have you arrested!”

  “What did he do?” a customer asked.

  “He’s a filthy thief,” Abu Keer said. “I don’t know how many times he’s stolen merchandise from me. ‘God forgive him,’ I say to myself, because
he’s a poor man. I keep warning him. But once a thief, always a thief. If he comes back, I’m going to hand him over to the police.”

  Bewildered, humiliated, and aching all over, Abu Seer stumbled back to the hotel. It took a week for him to recover.

  Chapter 7

  When the welts had stopped hurting, Abu Seer went out again. He wanted to treat himself to a long, relaxing soak in a hot bath, so he asked the first person he met to direct him to the public baths.

  “The public paths?” said the man. “You mean for taking a walk?”

  “No, not paths. Baths!”

  “Baths? What are they?”

  “You know,” Abu Seer said. “Baths. Where people go to wash themselves.”

  “Oh,” said the man. “You must be a stranger here. We call it the sea.”

  “You mean you have no hot baths here?”

  “Never heard of such a thing,” the man said.

  Hmm, thought Abu Seer.

  That very same day he went to the king. He was very confident. Magic ring or no magic ring, he knew that he had a valuable idea to offer.

  “Your Majesty,” he said, “I have come here from far away, and I have been wondering why you don’t have any public baths in this beautiful city.”

  “What are baths?” asked the king.

  “Well,” Abu Seer said, “they’re hot and wonderful, and people go there to wash themselves clean, or for a massage, or just to sit and soak in a tub of hot water. It’s one of the greatest pleasures in the world.”

  “My goodness,” said the king.

  He was so impressed with Abu Seer’s idea that he gave him ten thousand gold coins and the use of the royal architects, carpenters, and stonemasons to build a bathhouse suitable for a great kingdom.

  Chapter 8

  Soon Abu Seer had built a magnificent bathhouse. It was two stories high, patterned with green, blue, and white stones, and had marble columns all around it. Precious carpets covered the floors, there were three large marble fountains, dozens of potted orange and lemon trees perfumed the air, and the walls were bright with mosaics depicting flowers, birds, and animals of every variety.

  After being greeted by Abu Seer in the reception hall, a customer entered the shower room, where attendants would soap and scrub and shampoo him, rinse him off, and lead him to the main hall. Here there was a choice of five large red-marble pools, each one filled with water of a different temperature, from lukewarm to very hot. Once he had soaked to his heart’s delight, he could shower and leave, or go to the massage room, where one of a staff of six male and female slaves, carefully trained by Abu Seer, would knead away all his aches and pains and soothe him with sweet-smelling oils. In the center of the main hall, mineral water bubbled from the mouths of marble lions. Nearby, a quartet of musicians played beautiful, soothing music. Waiters walked back and forth, carrying silver trays of sherbets and cookies.

  Abu Seer sent out criers to announce the grand opening of the bathhouse and invite everyone to come, free of charge, for three days.

  No one had ever seen anything like it. Rich and poor alike were astonished at the magnificence of the bathhouse and overwhelmed with the pleasure of the baths. When they left, they were all glowing like fireflies.

  On the fourth day, the king paid a visit, escorted by four hundred of his ministers, diplomats, generals, and noblemen—all the important members of his court. He soaked for an hour in the pool of lukewarm water, then for another hour in the next pool, an hour in the next, then the next, and finally for an hour in the hottest pool. Then he had a long massage. He came out scented with essence of white roses.

  Abu Seer was waiting for him in the reception hall. Two white slave girls and two black slave girls, each one as beautiful as the full moon, brought in sherbets and cookies.

  “Well, Your Majesty,” Abu Seer said, “how do you like the baths?”

  “Mmmmm,” said the king. “I thought I was in heaven.” He smiled and heaved a sigh of pleasure. Then he said, “You shall be well rewarded for this. How much, by the way, are you going to charge?”

  “Whatever you think is fair, Your Majesty,” said Abu Seer.

  “A thousand gold coins. That is the very least you should charge for such a magnificent experience.”

  “You are very kind, Your Majesty,” Abu Seer said, “but if you’ll forgive me, I think that price is a bit steep. After all, some of your subjects are rich and some of them are poor. And if I charge a thousand gold coins for a bath, only the very rich will be able to afford it.”

  “Ah,” said the king. “You are right. I didn’t think of that. What shall we do, then?”

  “Why don’t we have a sliding scale?” Abu Seer said. “Everybody will pay what he can afford. You, Your Majesty, are a king, for example, so you can easily pay a thousand gold coins, as you suggested. Your courtiers and noblemen are rich, so they will pay a hundred gold coins. A poor fisherman or shoemaker, on the other hand, will pay just one copper penny. And a beggar won’t have to pay a thing.”

  “Splendid!” said the king. “Now everybody will be able to afford these wonderful baths.”

  “I think that’s the fairest way,” Abu Seer said.

  “And to express my gratitude,” the king said, “I will give you an additional hundred thousand gold coins.”

  “Your Majesty’s generosity is overwhelming,” Abu Seer said. “A hundred thousand thanks.”

  The first thing Abu Seer did was to send for the hotel porter. He gave him fifty thousand gold coins. “Whenever you need anything,” he said, “just come and ask me.”

  So Abu Seer became a very wealthy man, and a respected and well-liked citizen. Everyone in the city, from the king down to the poorest beggar, went for a bath once a week, and everyone walked out of the bathhouse beaming with pleasure. Abu Seer came to know all the king’s advisers and all the members of his bodyguard. He was especially friendly with the king’s admiral, and he wouldn’t allow him to pay even a penny for his visits. “You’re a good fellow,” Abu Seer would say. “It’s on the house.”

  Chapter 9

  One day Abu Keer decided to go to the baths. As he walked into the reception hall he immediately recognized Abu Seer. Ah, he thought, the bathhouse owner everyone is talking about is that wretched barber I used to know. I’d better do some fast talking.

  When Abu Seer saw him, he embraced him with joy.

  “Shame on you!” Abu Keer said. “It’s months since we arrived in this city, and I’ve become a rich man and a friend of the king. Yet you never visit me, you never even come by to say hello. Is that any way to treat an old friend?”

  Abu Seer’s mouth dropped in amazement.

  “And I’ve worn myself out searching for you,” Abu Keer continued. “I’ve sent my slaves all over the city, to every rooming house and hotel. But there wasn’t even a shred of news about you. You had disappeared into thin air.”

  “But don’t you remember?” said Abu Seer. “I came to your shop. And you called me a thief and whipped me!” He had tears in his eyes.

  “Oh my God!” Abu Keer said, pretending to be shocked. “Was that you?”

  Abu Seer nodded.

  “I had no idea,” Abu Keer said. “Believe me, dear friend, I had absolutely no idea it was you. I swear to God, I swear by the beard of the prophet Mohammed, I swear by my father’s prayer rug, I swear by my mother’s apron strings, that I didn’t recognize you. There was a dirty little thief who used to come every day and steal merchandise from my shop. He looked exactly like you. What a horrible mistake!”

  “Really?” said Abu Seer.

  “May God strike me dead if it isn’t true,” Abu Keer said. “I’m so sorry I didn’t recognize you. My dear old friend! My dear, dear friend! Oh, how could I have been so blind?” By now Abu Keer was sobbing and beating his breast.

  “There, there,” said Abu Seer, patting him on the back. “It’s all right. I forgive you.”

  They spent the next few hours soaking together in the hot
pool and catching up on each other’s news.

  Finally Abu Keer offered one copper coin in payment.

  “No, no,” said Abu Seer. “You’re my friend. It’s on the house.”

  “Good,” Abu Keer said. “You know, this is a fine place you have here. There’s only one thing missing.”

  “What’s that?” said Abu Seer.

  “The massage oil we used to have in Alexandria, in our neighborhood baths.”

  “You mean that smelly stuff?”

  “It may be smelly,” said Abu Keer, “but it’s wonderful massage oil. It makes you tingle all over. Why don’t you get some of it and rub it on the king the next time he comes? I’m sure he’ll appreciate it, and you’ll rise even higher in his esteem.”

  “That sounds like a good idea,” said Abu Seer. “A thousand thanks, old friend.”

  Chapter 10

  Upon leaving the bathhouse, Abu Keer went straight to the king.

  “How are you, Your Majesty?” he said.

  “Wonderful, just wonderful!” said the king, smiling.

  “Oh?”

  “Yes, ever since that genius Abu Seer opened his bathhouse, I’ve been feeling on top of the world. I have never felt happier in my whole life.”

  “You mean, you’ve actually gone to the bathhouse?” said Abu Keer, with a look of deep concern.

  “Of course I have,” said the king. “Why are you looking at me that way?”

  “God be praised that Your Majesty escaped!” Abu Keer said.

  “What are you talking about?” the king said.

  “Don’t you know?” said Abu Keer. “That bath manager, Abu What’s-his-name, is a crook!”

  “No!” said the king.

  “Not only is he a crook,” Abu Keer said, “but he’s an enemy of our holy religion. If you go to the baths after today, you’re a dead man.”